Marriage Is For Me To Enjoy Vicariously Through Facebook


Whether it’s being discussed on Dan Savage’s podcast or in my Facebook feed, marriage is never far from my mind. And how could it be? I am a 23 year old female from a small town and my single friends from childhood, middle school and high school are dropping like flies. And by dropping, I mean getting engaged or married. Even though some of these engagements have been broken off, and statistics show that many of these friends will get divorced at some point, I’m still gonna “Like” every one of your engagement/wedding photos/statuses on Facebook. And while getting proposed to via food at a restaurant, a scoreboard, or basically any other display of grandeur is one of my worst nightmares (what if you choke on the ring? What if you want to say no but can’t because you’re on national television?), I’m still a little bit of a romantic when it comes to weddings.

I’ve written about weddings before (okay, multiple times. This might be something I should discuss with a therapist) so I’ll try not to repeat myself here. Lately a ton of articles have been circulating around me with titles like: “Marriage is Not For You” or “The 5 Most Annoying Engagement Posts” or “50 Reasons Your Engaged Friends Are Morons” or “Boy We’re Gonna Clean Up When All of these Suckers Get Divorced In 10 Years” or “Marriage is About God Not Pinterest.”

I definitely agree with some of the points made in these articles. With other articles, I feel like I don’t know enough about what it actually means to be married to someone and (at least theoretically) committed to them for the rest of your life to have a real opinion. But as I see yet another article about why marriage is right or wrong for someone, I just want to say “Let the kids have their fun!”

If someone wants to spend too much money on a bad DJ and an ostentatious ugly dress, then that’s their business. If someone is excited that they just got engaged and wants to post a dumb status about it, then that’s their prerogative. If someone wants to have a wedding instead of just signing some documents in the courthouse, then that’s fine! If someone wants to just sign some documents in a courthouse that’s also fine! If someone wants to wait until everyone can get married before getting married themselves, then good for them, but if someone wants to have a wedding because they want to have a huge party and look really pretty then let them knock themselves out. It’s not personally harming me or you, or anyone else on social media, except for perhaps their exes.

Even though I don’t personally think it’s a great idea to get married at age 23/24/25 (and especially not before you’re of legal drinking age, because dry weddings are dull weddings!),  that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to enjoy looking at your wedding photos, attending your wedding or helping you wedding plan. This is partly because a sentimental fool, and partly because at this point I’m not really sure if I’m ever going to get married, (unless someone I think is awesome wants a green card). If I ever decide that I’m ready to make a life-long commitment to another person, I doubt it will be while I’m still young and hot. It will probably be one of those stories where everyone is like “That cat lady got married? I thought she was asexual! Isn’t it cute when people in their 70s get married! Too bad I can’t make it to the wedding, I’d have to find a sitter for my grandkids.” So let me live vicariously through my twenty-something married and engaged friends who are planning weddings and posting AMAZING photos of them on their special day blah blah blah because I’m not planning on having it happen to me anytime soon.


One comment

  1. I agree with you 100000%. The more I was in/around weddings the more unlikely it seemed I would ever be the bride. We’ll be the Golden Girls with Cats together. But yes, I also love facebook wedding activity. So much so that I started following my friends’ wedding photographers and therefore like photos of complete strangers. If you ever get a therapist give them my number!

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