Mercury in Retrograde: A Retrospective

In case you haven’t heard/believe that astrology is utter BS, (and not in the fun way where you still read horoscopes and would be willing to go to a palmist if all of your friends were doing it), Mercury was in retrograde from February 6th-28th. I didn’t do a “retrograde journal” during this time, but based on my Google Calendar, I think I can have a pretty accurate recollection of retrograde-y things that happened during this time. So here we go:

Feb. 6th: I went to a square dance and met a cute boy. Yay! We were going to get a drink and then his friends wanted to leave, so I drove home and went to sleep instead. Whatever, Mercury.

Feb. 7th: My roommates and I made lewd Valentines’. This retrograde thing was looking okay.

Feb. 8th: I was on a 3 1/2 hour skype call for work. Super retrograde-y bummer. But then I played a show at a burrito restaurant and the dude who made my burrito gave me extra guacamole because I’m cute. That was cool I guess.

Feb. 10th: My car nearly got towed. I had a conversation with someone that I care about and it had to make them sad. Felt sad. Everyone felt sad. Curse you, Mercury.

Feb. 13th: I got really high hopes for partying on Valentines’ day and distributed some lewd Valentines. Do your worst, Mercury.

Feb. 14th: My friends wanted to go to bed instead of partying with me. I stole a bunch of glittery heart decorations from a bar and ate something called a pretzel dog. 50/50.

Feb. 17th: I cried a lot about one of my jobs. I maybe drank a little too much wine. But then when I was skyping with a co-worker, I realized that I needed to lean the eff in. And it was sort of okay.

Feb. 18th-20th: I was really stressed and really busy. But it was uneventful. My arm muscles started looking really big.

Feb. 21st: I played an amazing bluegrass show. Then I went out after 11 and stayed out until nearly 3. But at the bar I spilled this girl’s beer and all of the people I was with were making out with each other and I was so. not. into. it. But over all it was a great night. I’m gonna blame the clumsiness and lack of desire to seduce someone on Mercury.

Feb. 22-27th: Work was great! I felt really competent. But I also didn’t talk to many people IRL. And I might have made a cat lady joke at a work meeting. And my cat was a pain in the butt. But work was great! Maybe the whole retrograde decided to leave my work life alone, and focus on stress levels and social life.

Feb. 28th: The jury is still out. But my bagel was extra hot (not a euphemism) and I woke up a little before my alarm. I’m not sure if having Mercury in retrograde really had that much of an impact on anything. I’m pretty good at being anti-social and getting my unrealistically high hopes for social events dashed even if Mercury is doing it’s normal thing.

Who even knows. I guess I can repeat this experiment in June, when Mercury goes back into retrograde. This time I’ll wear my tinfoil had and consult my Susan Miller horoscope before the retrograde starts.


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