I never understood the phrase “bucket list,” until I realized that it is a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket.” Yuck. This list has nothing to do with dying. It’s mostly a list of things that I’d like to do before I stop living in Colorado, which will happen when I go to grad school, when Taylor Swift finally agrees to marry me, or Martha Stewart decides that I should be the heir to her decorating throne. Until that happens, here is a list of things that I want to do.

South Park-Related:

• Go to Casa Bonita – See cliff divers. Don’t invite my friend Cartman.
• Go to the South Park area of Colorado.
• Go to Fairplay, Colorado, the town that South Park was based on. On the trip, refer to the town as “Foreplay.” Stop at a gas station and ask for directions to “Foreplay.” When I arrive in Fairplay, ask someone for their recommendation for places to eat in “Foreplay.”

Outdoor Adventure-Related (Since being the least adventurous person in Boulder no longer makes me “cute” and “unusual”):

• Go rock climbing inside
• Go rock climbing outside
• Go downhill skiing.
• Go horseback riding (because my palmist told me to!)
• Not seriously injure myself going rock climbing or skiing
• Go camping
• Go camping with food other than Doritos and a 30-rack of PBR
• Run the Boulder Bolder
• Climb a Fourteener
• See an elk
• See a rattlesnake

Non-Potentially Life-Threatening Activities:

• Camp at Lyons Folksfest
• Tour the New Belgian Brewery in Fort Collins
• Go to my college roommate’s cousin’s pie shop in Fort Collins “Me Oh My! Coffee and Pie”
• Play music on Pearl St.
• Play a gig in Denver
• Go “to the mountains”
• Familiarize self with Colorado wildflowers
• Get invited to a neighborhood cookout/party
• Befriend a baby

Denver:

• Go to a Rockies Game
• Understand the difference between “LoDo,” “LoHi,” etc.
• Go to the dog park that is also a beer garden
• Go to the Grizzly Rose
• Go to the Grizzly Rose Again
• Go square dancing
• Be in a band based out of Denver
• Go to a rodeo
• Go to another rodeo so I can say “This ain’t my first rodeo.”

Neighboring States:

• Go to New Mexico
• Breaking Bad Tour of Albuquerque
• Go to Wyoming
• Go to Spiral Jetty on the Great Salt Lake
• Go on a stupidly long road trip to LA to get a beer with Elizabeth Aubert
• Go to Idaho
• Go to Montana

Okay, now I’m gonna get cracking!